Intro (Live)

歌詞

This is Bo Burnham He's 22 years old He's a male And he looks like the genetic product of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples He's isolated himself over the last 5 years in pursuit of comedy And in doing so, has lost touch with reality You're an asshole, Bo You hear me? You think you know better than me You think you know better than everybody You will die alone And you will deserve it But in the meantime You might as well tell those silly jokes of your's See if that helps [Bo, bo bo, bo-bo bo bo...] You used to do comedy When you felt like being funny But now you're contractually obligated So dance you fucking monkey Dance monkey dance Welcome to the show, This is Bo, This is his show, And Bo likes to dance like this Welcome to the show This is Bo This is his show And Bo takes off his pants like this Play an invisible drum Play an invisible trumpet [Trumpet sound!] Drink some invisible water Oh shit that water's real! Bo wants to make you feel comfortable Bo wants to make you feel comfortable [Random voice!] Bo wants to make you feel comfortable So sit back relax and enjoy a healthy dose of Prolonged eye contact [Prolonged Eye contact!] (x11) Lick your lips to make it more comforting Do you wanna see a magic trick? [Yeah!] Do you wanna see a magic trick? [Yeah!] Do you wanna see a magic trick? [Yeah!] Then pick a card Any card- Psych! Magic isnt real you idiot, Read a book! Magic isnt real you idiot, Read a book! Magic isnt real you idiot, Read a book! Magic isn't real- Or is it? And at that moment, Bo's 20-year-old cynicism melted into child-like wonder. He never knew there could be so much magic in the world It's a world of possibilities Bo. What do you wanna do first? Run? Yeah, sure, you can run Fly? Well yeah, you can fly. What- What are you- What the fuck are you- What the fuck are you doing? Stop St-Stop it What the f- You fucking idiot Stop-Stop Stop. Anyways... In the distance, Bo saw a beautiful fairy A fairy so beautiful he felt proud to be called one in high school Then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard Bo knew that he'd have to answer a riddle to get by The troll spoke thus "Alright for the last time man, I'm not a troll, I'm homeless Okay, do you have any spare change? That's a used napkin, I don't want that No-No- Stop. You know what? Leave, just leave, Please leave." And then, as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him And the pentacorn spoke thus "Hello Bo, I've been looking for you for quite a long t-" He was safe, For now But the dark thoughts would soon return. [Godzilla!! Noo! Ohmygod! Oh. My God! Oh nooo! Fire! Ahhhh!] It's so hard to be a lizard [Has anyone seen my son? I lost my son!] It's hard to be a lizard [What did we do god, what did we do? He killed my wife, that monster killed my wife] Tiny arms, itchy gizzard [Oh my god, okay, why is he singing? He killed my whole family! Oh my god... why?] It's so hard to be a lizard But it's harder to segway Is he skiing, or is he in a gay porn? Is he skiing, [What!] or is he in a gay porn? Is he skiing, [Huh!] or is he in a gay porn? Here's a hint- he's in a gay porn Okay Bo, this miming shit is getting pretty annoying, so give 'em the real thing My voice is so fucking natural It's naturally good Naturally good Naturally good This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show, Welcome to the show!